EPHESIANS OUTLINE # 33 of 35

EPHESIANS 5:25-33

I. Introduction

A. Controlling idea with regard to the wife is submission.

1. Controlling idea with regard to the husband is love.

2. Submission on part of wife, love on part of husband.

B. He is saying this because he is concerned about the harmony and peace that needs to be displayed in the

marital relationship.

1. To maintain harmony the wife must be submissive.

2. To maintain peace the husband must love his wife.

C. No husband who is a Christian has any right to say he is the head of his wife unless he loves her.

1. You say I love her - do you? We will find out.

2. Your headship is not to be that of a pope or a dictator.

3. Your rulership is to be maintained by the power of love.

II. The Nature of Love - husbands love your wives (25)

A. First let's define the word Love

1. Three words in the Greek which are translated love in English.

2. Eros - describes a love that is entirely physical.

(a) Our word erotic reminds of the contest of the word

(b) It is a love of the flesh, it is physical desire.

(c) It is essentially selfish because it is calculated to satisfy my passions.

(d) This does not mean it is always wrong, but it is born of desire. It wants something and is concerned mainly in accomplishing its own satisfaction.

(e) This is generally what passes for love today.

(f) There is nothing wrong with eros, it is included in the marital relationship. It must be present in order to have a full satisfying marriage.

3. Phileo - it means a fondness or an affection.

(a) This is the fondness we feel for a genuine friend

(b) It comes to us in such words as philanthropic, Philadelphia.

(c) The basic idea is that of fondness - we like each other.

(d) We like each others companionship, we have the same affinities and interests.

(e) It is important in marriage that we like to do things together.

4. Agapoo

(a) This is the word used in our text

(b) This same work is used in John 3:16

(c) This is a love devoid of any selfishness. As a matter of fact it is totally forgetful of oneself. (d) Christ loved arid gave Himself for the church; that is the very essence of agapoo.

(e) This is the love spoken of in I Cor. 13: Into this fellowship of the saints is introduced the love that sacrifices for the blessing of the other, the love that suffers long, the love that is kind, the love not envy, the love that does not behave itself unseemly, the love that does not seek its awn, the love that is not provoke~ that thinks no evil, that does not rejoice in iniquity but rather in the truth, the love that bears, believes, hopes, and endures all things, the love that never fails.

(f) Husbands we need to examine ourselves to see if all three elements are present in us.

III The Attitude of Love (even as Christ Loved Church)

A. He loved the church in spite of her deficiencies

. 1. Notice what He has done for the church

2. He gave Himself for her (Sacrificial Love)(25)

(a) Christ loved the church not for what the church can do for him but what he can do for her

(b) Chrysostom - Wouldst thou that thy wife obey thee as the church does Christ. Have care for her then as Christ does for the church.

(c) If it be needful that thou give thy life for her refuse it not

3. He santifies and cleanses her by the Word (Purifying Love) 5:26

(a) Real Love is always The great cleanser and purifien of life

(b)) Any love which drags a person down is a false love

(c) Any so Called love that deceives, which weakens the moral fibre, any love from which a person

emerges a worse person is not love at all.

(d) The love of God in your heart as a husband will seek to refine and beautify the character of

your wife

(e) Our desire should be charactized by the attitude, I want my wife to be a better person because she married me.

(f) If she is depressed, defeared and despondent because of problems with me I am not loving and purifying her as Christ His church.

4. Husbands love your wives as your own bodies (Caring Love 5:28)

(a) Real Love always cherishes the one it loves

(b) Real love does not live for its awn convenience

(c) There is something wrong when a man regards his wife as the one who cooks his meals, washes his clothes, cleans his house, trains the children.

(d) We are not to regard our wives as a kind of permanent servant but a person we are to cherish.

5. Cleave unto your wife (5:31) Unbreakable Love

(a) Because of this love you leave father and mother and build your own home

(b) You became one flesh - not just partners

(c) You are far more than partners, another expression we use comes closer to the truth - my better half

(d) She is not a partner, she is the other half of man.

(e) We are not dealing with two units but we are dealing with two halves of one

(f) That's why the word of God says; he that loveth his wife loveth Himself

(g) He no more thinks of separating from her than he would think of tearing his body apart

(h) Think of it, this is stated in an age when people exchanged mates with as little thought as

changing clothes

(i) Here we see the scriptural impossibility of divorce

(j) How can you detach yourself from your wife. To do so is to detach yourself from your own body

(k) What your body is to your personality, so your wife should be to you

(I) Do you see the insanity of a man abusing his wife? How can he abuse her? She is part of his body.

To abuse her is in God's sight the same as abusing yourself.

6. Peter tells us (I Peter 3:7) Wife is Weaker Vessel (Protective Love)

(a) Is your wife nervous, worrisome, outspoken?

(b) She has weaknesses - what is your reaction to them?

(c) Do you become irritated, condemnatory?

(d) You are her protector, if she worries, save her fram as much care as possible

(e) Do as much to safeguard her from her weaknesses as you do to protect yourself from a disease

in your body

(f) You are to aid your wife, encourage her, protect her as being the weaker vessel

7. Love her as you would love yourself (5:33) understanding Love

(a) Husband should think about what pleases her, what she likes, what she enjoys

(b) Before marriage we went out of our way to do this

(c) After marriage we often stop doing this

(d) You come home tired, you want rest and peace

(e) Remember the same is true of your wife

(f) Talk to her, maybe she has only the society of little people all day. She wants to talk but

you don't

(g) She is your body, cause yourself to think and be understanding, as to why she wants to talk

(h) Make yourself talk, bring her into your life

(i) You were equally tired before you were married yet you found things to talk about

(j) Remember you are one. Consideration of this will cause the whole marriage to grow and develop as God meant it too

8. Husbands be not bitter against your wives ( Tenderness of Love)

(a) Col. 3:~9 - To be bitter is literally to be harsh

(1,) Because man is natural leader be sometimes can carry that too far and become harsh and

domineering

(c) A Christian husband will speak kindly and affectionately to his wife.

(d) Remember this is tied to the fullness of Spirit